Starting to appreciate weddings

This past weekend was B's wedding. The ceremony and reception were small, but beautifully done. I don't think I've cried at a wedding that much before, but it seemed fairly normal as even the older more composed men wiped at their eyes. I'm sure the constant pour of beer into everyone helped.

At our table of 7 I was seated between N (a fellow English teacher friend) and Hiro. Hiro works in the same office B and I do, but in a different department. Hiro has always intimidated me. Not in a scary overbearing way, but he just strikes me as one of those too cute, too cool guys that would never give me the time of day. He and B are good friends, so I have hung out with him a few times at parties and dinners. The whole time I'm usually tongue-tied and surprisingly, despite first impressions, Hiro a shy guy. I think he speaks and understands a lot more English than what he lets on, but our awkward conversations are usually all in Japanese. Of course I was nervous sitting next to him for a 4 hour reception where neither of us knew many other people.

After table introductions and some general comments about how pretty B looks, Hiro leans over and says he saw Sar and I the other night at the local convenience store. He gives me a sly look and asks, "Karaoke?" Damn he actually does know a bit about me. I give the affirmative and he chuckles, "Yeah I've seen you guys two or three times at that time of night." I haven't even started drinking yet, but my face is flushed. I'm always really loud and drunk right after karaoke parading around town. Plus if he has seen us that many times recently why didn't he say hi? Somehow I manage to form a proper Japanese sentence and say (in what I hope was a casual tone), "So how about next time you come with us?" Another smile from him and he suggests we exchange cell phone information! YES!

The reception goes on and at the end as everyone stands up to leave he pulls out his cell phone and wiggles it in my direction (that sounds so very bad). I have to be the one to say "Let's exchange!” but in any case it got done. Since he might even be shyer than I am, I'll have to make the next step and the whole conversation implied group activities, but still yay!

Country roads take me home

It's always nice to start things off by establishing a bit of setting. My position is in a very rural city. We are talking hardcore countryside. (Now I'm picturing the locals wearing leather and chains while walking around with their thumbs up going "ehhhhh". Since when was hardcore defined by The Fonz? What's wrong with my brain? Oops that would be another tangent.) The population of my city is 33,000, which doesn't sound too bad except we are the largest city by leaps and bounds in a two-hour radius.

Rural towns and cities in Japan are beautiful, peaceful, traditional, friendly, and dying. Young adults go to the big cities for college (Tokyo, Osaka, Kobe, etc) and very few ever look back. This leaves most towns with a population consisting mainly of young children and the elderly. The last time I checked the population growth wars the elderly were kicking major school children butt. If I happen to see a guy that looks about my age he is either in high school (may be cute, but I'm not going there), or he is in his late 30s with a wife and two kids (also going to have to pass on that).

I love where I live, but it doesn't provide me with the choicest options. Internet dating and websites seem to be the way to go. That is unless you're my friend R who manages to drive 3 hours one way every weekend to Osaka and club hop. That boy has a mystic power all his own. The other dating bloggers, who I am secretly jealous of and adore by the way, seem to pick up a lot of dates on Internet sites like match.com and eharmony. What's a girl to do in Japan?

There are a few options I've discovered so far. I already mentioned Asoboo! in an earlier post. There is also a good pen-pal forum on Japan Guide. In their rules they say you can not use the ad listings to look for a date, but that seems to be what at least 75% of the ads are doing either covertly or openly. I posted an ad to find people who wanted to trade English practice for Japanese and I ended up with a 90% male response. People should go into this site looking for friends and you might make a connection, or new friends are good too! For people with decent Japanese a lot of people use the chat and message boards on Yahoo! Japan. Yahoo! was able to get a good foothold in Japan before other similar companies, so it is well used. I need to hunt more of my friends down for ideas.

I swear the next post will actually have something to do with an actual date...

Sponging from my friends

My friend Sar's favorite rant is the lack of kissing on Japanese television. Two people can wake up naked next to each other. People can run around almost naked. Sexual tension can hold Tokyo hostage, but the big pay off for most tv dramas is the most chaste little lip lock during the last episode. Argh put some feeeeeling into it (or at least a good grope and a bit o' tongue eh!). Bring me my Sex and the City DVDs post haste! Sexually frustrated, moi? Not worth thinking about I'm afraid.

Another friend (a fellow American), who works in the same office is getting married to a great Japanese guy in a few weeks. This will be my first traditional Japanese wedding. I can't wait to go. However B has had to adjust to a lot of things that go along with dating and marrying a Japanese man, which I'll get into in a different post. Watching her do the marriage dance affirms that I'm in no hurry to walk down the aisle (breaking my poor mother's heart here).